Low Libido and Breastfeeding
While many breastfeeding women generally feel they have low libido for up to the first 12 months, there is a huge range in the time it takes couples to resume having sex after childbirth.
If you're breastfeeding your oestrogen levels may be low as breastfeeding slows oestrogen production and this could be reducing your sexual response. Women who are not breastfeeding on the other hand find that their oestrogen and progesterone levels go back to pre–pregnancy levels within about 3 months of giving birth.
Some women feel they have decreased libido because they are sharing their body often throughout the day with their new baby. So they don't need or want physical closeness from their partners.
I remember feeling at one point that everyone needed something from me. My toddler needed cuddles, my baby needed breast milk, my family needed to feel close to us and my husband needed his wife back, even my dog would wait until very late at night to attempt to sit on my lap. I had had enough, all the physical closeness and giving of myself made me feel frustrated and tired. And although I loved breastfeeding there were times –very few– when it annoyed me purely because I needed my own space.
If this is how you are feeling too then what you probably need is time for yourself. It's so easy to become absorbed completely in your baby and lose touch with yourself and other relationships that you once enjoyed. Reconnecting with yourself and friends –that don't need something from you but rather are there for you– can help you see yourself as an individual again.
Some mums I know tell their partners that the thing that turns them on most is a dust cloth, I think thats great! When you have a young baby and especailly if you are breastfeeding, sex can become just another chore. Having your partner help you around the house will leave you with more energy and appreciation for him.
And don't worry if your partner becomes so absorbed in your baby that he has low libido. It's quite common for men to go through the same feelings. Just talk to him, try and spend some quality time together alone, get to know each other again and embrace the changes going on in your life. Your hormones will soon return to normal and your baby will feed less frequently as they grow. It will get easier, it has to, how else do most families have more than one baby??
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Return from Low Libido to Breastfeeding and Sex
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